Shifty and Graeme's (and Danny and Rory's) Latest Big Blog Adventure

Saturday 6th November 2010, Falkirk v Ross County

12:10pm
Graeme, Danny and Rory arrive in Falkirk, at Falkirk Grahamston station, conveniently situated in the centre of the town, and within walking distance of the imaginatively-named Falkirk Stadium. Shifty, however, due to Scotrail engineering works, ends up at Falkirk High station, which is on the other side of town, and therefore has to make a 20-minute cross-town trek to meet up with his chums. Why does a town the size of Falkirk need 2 railway stations anyway?

12:30
The group meet up in the Behind the Wall pub, and the first round of pints are ordered. The group notice that the pub are running a bus to the game, and then back to the pub afterwards, for free for anyone buying drinks. After some deilberation, the group decide to take up this offer of a free lift to the game.

12:50
Danny suggests a game- 20 questions, with the subject matter being obscure SPL and EPL players from the mid-1990s onwards. Classic names such as Hicham Zerouali, Theo Snelders, Billy Dodds and Mickael Silvestre all come up. The group also reminisce about the time when Shifty remarked that a particularly depressed-looking Davie Weir, immediately after one of Rangers' Champions League shellackings, looked like "his wife just died". NB: This is of course untrue. Mrs Weir met her maker throwing herself infront of the king's horse in the derby

13:20
Another drinking game. Name the ground, and if you've been there, take a drink. As the group are all fairly well-travelled, this didn't last long.

13:40
The pub have the Bolton v Tottenham game on. With Bolton winning 3-0, Harry Redknapp's face looks even more hangdog than usual. During the 2nd half, the group all put £1 in a "corner kitty", and every time there is a corner in the match, the kitty moves to the next person. Graeme eventually claims the £4 jackpot

14:20
The bus arrives, and the group head off to the match. Shifty gets heckled for wearing his County top

14:40
The group arrive at the ground and make their way around to the away end, to join a travelling County support of about 200, among them an old boy in a rastafarian hat

15:00
The match kicks off, with Graeme having used his corner kitty jackpot to get the 50-50 tickets in

15:15
Some choice chants are forthcoming: "Referee, ya balloon!", followed by the excellent "Referee, you're about as much use as Anne Frank's drumkit" (Copyright Danny, 2010)

15:27
GOOOAALLL! 1-0 County, Andy Barrowman after some sexual work from Iain Vigurs. Jose Mourinho is said to be monitoring his progress

15:45
Half-time, County deservedly 1-0 up, and playing with some style and panache too. The half-time queue for pies as quite big, though, with only 2 folk serving. By the time the group get to the front, all the pies are gone, meaning Rory has to munch on a jumbo hotdog. This lack of pies leads to some frustration among the more senile members of the travelling support

16:00
The 2nd half kicks off as the group get their munch from the kiosk

16:30
County still leading 1-0 but having to absorb some pressure, although the Staggies do look threatening on the counter-attack. Graeme, while checking other scores on his phone, happens to notice that Celtic are running up a cricket score against Aberdeen

16:50
Peep-peep! Full time 1-0 County. A bully result. The group begin the walk back into town

17:20
The group pitch up in Sportsters, in the town centre, and pints are ordered. Shifty is told to remove his County top. What sort of sports bar doesn't allow its patrons to wear sports kit?
The group find a table next to a PC, and much laughs are had when they find that the most visited website on it is bebo

18:00
The group move on to another pub, the Scotia. Again, Shifty is asked to remove his County top, but the locals are more friendly here, and the group have another pint before heading off home.

20:00
The group arrive back at their own pads, and find that, after all attending County games, home and away, for many moons, they have been dismissed as a "notable fanny element" on the County forum. Happy days

Shifty and Graeme's Big Blog Adventure: The Review Part 2

5:20pm

Shifty and Graeme arrive, ravenous, at Harry Ramsden's. Graeme orders himself fish and chips, while Shifty inexplicably orders something other than chips and bread and butter by going for the battered chicken. The global effects of this shock decision are still being felt to this very day- rumour has it that, before Shifty's order was placed, the Nobel Peace Prize was set to be awarded to Ian Huntley.

6:20pm

Full up and raring to go the boys nailed down to the ground. Usual sightseeing faire. Graeme bought a rather fetching hat from the clubshop. Some photos under the Sir Matt Busby statue and enjoying the general atmosphere which was laced with jubilant Scouser bashing. Much to Graeme's dismay there is an alcohol ban at European games, so with an expectant crowd and a cup of tea Shifty and Graeme climbed the steps to take their seats, in the Theatre of Dreams.

7:40pm

Another couple of photos were taken (have a butcher's at Graeme's hat) before the teams emerged to the spine-tingling Handel's Zadok the Priest, better known as the Champions League anthem. And then a young Manchester United side were underway!

8:05pm

Effing Ben Foster! He's 3rd choice for a reason

8:30pm

Half-time. In the absence of the availability of a half-time beer, Shifty and Graeme prefer to chill (quite literally- it was freezing!) in their seats

9:35pm

Full-time. Disappointing result. Shifty and Graeme make a smooth escape from the ground and board the bus back to the hotel room to "freshen up" before a night on the town.

10:45pm

Bus into Piccadilly Gardens (where all them mad huns kicked off ken'). Empty aside from one drunk homeless Scottish guy shouting at a parked car. First pub, nice environment, can't remember the name but had decent pintage and a tpb (tasty Polish barmaid). Every pub needs one.

11.30pm

It's raining cat's dogs and few other animals, the boys go for a dawnder. Much to Shifty's dismay (there's been an awful lot of that on this trip, hasn't there?), the two bloggers are directed to Manchester's gay village. Graeme finds this amusing, and has a great time. Shifty's mood brightens up after a Sex on the Beach.

2:30am

3 gay bars, 6 cocktails and a trip to the casino later, Shifty and Graeme find themselves in a karaoke bar, surrounded by Chinese students singing Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. Both come to the conclusion that this means hometime, and return to the hotel.

7:00am

Shifty wakes up for breakfast, works his way into the bathroom only to discover Graeme fast asleep and up to his neck in lukewarm bathwater. Good Night all round.

9:40am

Shifty and Graeme leave the hotel after a hearty all-you-can-eat breakfast, and make their way to the train station, for the long journey home.

Here are those photos, then:

Shifty and Graeme's Big Blog Adventure: The Review

Now that Shifty has recovered following a bully evening out, and the £50 million required for Graeme's bail has been paid, these two intrepid pundits can finally tell the story of Shifty and Graeme's Big Blog Adventure:

Wednesday, 25th November: 7:30am
Shifty wakes up. Immediately texts Graeme, fearing that he may have slept in. Turns out Graeme has been up for hours, drinking tea and watching childrens' television

8:30am
Shifty and Graeme meet at Stirling Train Station. Shifty is wet and cold. Graeme has a sausage roll and a huge cup of tea. Shifty opts for a smaller cup of tea. All aboard the 08:44 Stirling to Glasgow Queen Street!

9:15am
The train rolls into Glasgow Queen Street. As their train to Manchestoh does not depart until 10:10am, Graeme suggests a trip to the Apple store. After in-depth discussion about how opening an Apple store in Aberdeen dilutes the Apple brand value somewhat, they discover that the store is closed. After falling off a lorry, a giant ball, not dissimilar to the orb that tends to be portrayed in sci-fi films, nearly kills Shifty and Graeme in broad daylight, in the middle of Buchanan Street.

9:40am
Shifty and Graeme get sandwiches at Glasgow Central Station, providing Graeme with the first photo opportunity of the day (photo 1 on the photo post, which will follow).

9:55am
Shifty and Graeme board the 10:10 to Manchester Airport. Much to Shifty's dismay, a couple of no-good hoodlums are in Shifty and Graeme's reserved seats. Fortunately, Graeme intervenes, and finds a table elsewhere on the train, and they settle in for the journey.

11:00am
The journey provides another couple of photo opportunities, with both pundits taking a picture of their reading material for the journey (photos 2 and 3 on the photo post).

12:45pm
Much to the dismay of the train passengers, an announcement comes on that the rear 3 carriages of the train (where Shifty and Graeme are located) will be taken out of service at the next stop, Preston. At Preston, cue a mad dash for seats at the front of the train. Shifty courageously ducks and dives through the crowds and finds a twosie (two seats next to each other) free for himself and Graeme. Result. At this point, the two bloggers hear the shrill of 14 half-cut Dundonian nurses, cackling and reeking of their 4 pints of Somerfield own brand wine. Graeme chats them up.

1:25pm
Shifty and Graeme arrive at Manchester Oxford Road station and expertly negotiate the route to their hotel. Much to Shifty's dismay (and Graeme's delight) they find themselves booked into a double room- mercifully for Shifty, a very pleasant young lady wishes to swap rooms, and the two bloggers are spared the prospect of spending the night in the same bed. On arriving in the hotel room, they take another couple of photos (photos 4 and 5) and have a cup of tea while watching Scrubs.

3:30pm
Shifty and Graeme go for a dawnder around town, and admire the sights of Piccadilly Gardens, where the Rangers fans all kicked off last time. They partake in the consumption of a couple of pints in a Wetherspoon's (photos 6 and 7) before boarding the number 256 bus, and heading off to the match!

Keep checking back for the photos, and an update on how the Harry Ramsden's went!

Man Utd v Besiktas, Wednesday 25th November

My Thoughts

This must surely be the most eagerly-anticipated game that has ever been written up on this here blog. Not just for the match itself (already-qualified Man Utd face almost-out Besiktas), but because this game is the centrepoint of Shifty and Graeme's Big Blog Adventure, which will see this here blog's intrepid pundits take in this match (preceded by a big sit-in meal in Harry Ramsdens), followed by a night of light revelry in Manchester.
As for the match itself, with qualification to the last 16 already secured (unlike some), United boss Sir Alex Ferguson will most likely make a few changes to his side- expect either Tomasz Kuszszak or Ben(ny Hill) Foster to start in goals, Darron Gibson and Gabriel Obertan (but not Zoran Tosic- he wasn't included in United's Champions League squad) to start in midfield, and perhaps a place in attack for either Federico Macheda or Danny Welbeck.

The Verdict
Shifty and Graeme will, by the end of Wednesday, be quite merry, having enjoyed a few light shandies. Oh wait, that's probably not the verdict y'all wanted to hear. Despite the likelihood of changes, United should still field a strong starting 11 and, given Besiktas' poor away form (they conceded 8 on their last trip to the UK), United should edge this one. K Stand, about 1/3rd of the way up, midway along, if you want to keep an eye out for Shifty and Graeme

The Bet
As previously stated, Darron Gibson is a likely starter. He has a beast of a shot on him (witness his goal against Hull last season), and can be backed to score anytime at a best price of 15/2 with Paddy Power. Otherwise, if you fancy a cheeky correct score bet, how about 2-1 Man Utd, available at a best price of 17/2 with Boylesports

Live updates from Shifty and Graeme's Big Blog Adventure will be available on www.twitter.com/father_bloopy

Enjoy

Shifty and Graeme's Big Blog Adventure

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!!

Shifty is delighted to confirm details of Shifty and Graeme's Big Blog Adventure. On Wednesday 25th November, Shifty and Graeme will be attending the Manchester United v Besiktas match, staying in Manchester that evening for light revelry, before returning north the following day, with pictures and tales galore to post on here.

Shifty will be providing a preview of the game on Tuesday, and Graeme is also looking into the possibility of a live Twitter linkup during the Big Blog Adventure- keep checking the blog for further details

Weekend previews to follow