Weekend Betting, Saturday 30th April

Well, with all the blogging about next weekend's debauchery going on, I thought I'd better squeeze in (or should that be squeeze out) a look at some of this weekend's games:

• There looks like being only 1 winner of Chelsea v Tottenham tomorrow teatime, and it's not Tottenham. Paddy Power will give you 8/15 on the home win, which would see Chelsea continue their recent good form which has seen them overhaul Arsenal in 2nd place. Tottenham can't be fancied, given their recent form- 1 win in their last 8 games in all competitions. Tottenham may also have one of their main attacking threats somewhat subdued- with Benoit Assou-Ekotto injured, Gareth Bale may have to drop back to left-back. Add this to the breaking of Fernando Torres' scoring duck, and the complete lack of form of any of Tottenham's strikers, and Chelsea to Win to Nil holds some appeal at 9/5 with Unibet


• Blackpool v Stoke looks a tough one to call. Stoke appear not to have suffered any sort of hangover from their FA Cup Semi Final dismantling of Bolton, having drawn at Aston Villa and beaten Wolves at home since. Having said that, one can make a case for Blackpool, who won the reverse fixture 2-0 and will create chances against anyone. Therefore, the bet to be on is Both Teams to Score at 8/13 with Stan James, a bet that has a 100% success rate at Bloomfield Road this season


• The remainder of the Premier League games on Saturday (and probably Blackpool v Stoke) all look distinctly drawy- this could be an opportunity for a rather speculative punt. Any combination of 4 of those games all to end in draws will generate odds of approximately 95/1. Have a go

EVERYBODY GTF (GET TO FALKIRK) TOMORROW. MON THE STAGGIES!

Shepherd's Stag Weekend, Cardiff: Part 2

Here, by popular demand, are some more markets to keep an eye on for Shepherd's Stag Weekend in Cardiff:

First to be kicked out of the strip club
Duguid 2/1, Pud 5/2, Sheep 9/2, Shifty 11/2, Rory 7/1, G-Ham 8/1, Doug 9/1

Duguid is again among the frontrunners in this market, set to be dominated by the more excitable members of the group. The possibility of Shifty nodding off, while highly unlikely, cannot be completely ruled out

To spend most money in the strip club
Rory 5/1, Shifty 6/1, Duguid 6/1, Pud 7/1, Sheep 7/1, Doug 8/1, G-Ham 8/1

As the odds suggest, this is set to be a very close-run thing. Any one of the 7 could win this. Shifty has previous here, with Pud and Duguid (again) also set to feature prominently

Anyone for a roast?
Odds on it happening: 3/1
To take part if it does happen: Duguid 6/4. Pud 2/1, Shifty 3/1, G-Ham 4/1, Doug 6/1
Again, Rory and Sheep, being attached, are excluded from this market. Duguid is expected, along with possibly Pud and Shifty, to be pressing for this

To have the biggest Premier Inn breakfast
Shifty 3/1, Doug 7/2, Sheep 9/2, G-Ham 5/1, Pud 7/1, Rory 8/1, Duguid 8/1

Expect Shifty to plough through at least 2 bowls of cereal, some toast and maybe a bit of crumpet, in anticipation of a hearty weekend of debauchery. Doug, G-Ham and Sheep are unlikely to be far behind

Shepherd's Stag Weekend, Cardiff: Friday 6th- Sunday 8th May

The eagerly-anticipated stag do takes place next weekend, and this writer, being among the travelling party, thought it fitting to open up a few markets on the weekend

To Win the Karting
Shepherd 5/2, Duguid 4/1, Shifty 9/2, Rory 8/1, Pud 8/1, G-Ham 10/1, Doug 12/1

The karting event should be a very close-run thing. Sheep the Stag (which sounds like a classic piece of Northern fucked-up crossbreeding) will be the favourite due to his prowess behind the wheel of a kart, with Scotty Duguid, always quick behind the wheel, set to be close behind. Don't rule out a challenge from the ever-competitive Shifty, either, with the rest close behind

First To Spew
Duguid 3/1, Rory 5/1, Pud 8/1, Shifty 12/1, G-Ham 12/1, Doug 25/1, Sheep 50/1

Duguid and Rory are the 2 favourites in this market- both have previous for this on a night out. At the other end of the market, Doug is a fine specimen of a man, who knows how to hold his drink, while Sheep is unlikely to (willingly) ingest the quantities of alcohol required

To Pull
Duguid 6/4, Shifty 7/2, Pud 4/1, G-Ham 5/1, Doug 8/1
Rory and Sheep are excluded from this market due to their attached status
Expect Duguid and Shifty to be fairly enthusiastic about using their mandatory chat-up lines, and maybe even a few of their own