Monday 12 August 2013

Graeme's Silly Bet is Back!

It's England v Scotland at Wembley on Wednesday- with that in mind, yours truly decided to resurrect an old feature on here for a match that we shall be attending. If you're in 1st Class on the 10am Edinburgh to London train tomorrow, say hello.

Shifty, in a state of post Ross County match drunkenness fame asked me to rekindle an old weekly post I did for him called "Graeme's Silly Bet" due to our impending visit to London for the upcoming Scotland vs England friendly to celebrate the 150th anniversary of the FA.
 
With the current run of my weekend football coupons it could be argued that all of my bets could be regarded as not just silly but financially damaging. I haven't won anything substantial in months. In fact I have never really won anything substantial.
 
So, for the match on Wednesday, and bear in mind that I haven't even researched the squads despite the SFA emailing me it all the time. My hot silly tip is going to be Scotland to win 1-0 with Kenny Miller scoring the winner after coming off the bench on the 81st minute for a farewell run out.
 
The bet: 1-0 Scotland, Kenny Miller 1st Scorer at 125/1 with Paddy Power
 
We'll be coming..

Thursday 1 August 2013

SPFL Fantasy Football Preview (Hopefully all in 1 part)

It's that time of year again, where we all sign up for various fantasy football leagues. We run our own one for the SPFL (I think that's what it's called now), so here's a preview of what to expect from the (newly expanded, in the spirit of league reconstruction) league this season.

This writer spoke to a number of the competitors in this season's league- here's a tastefully edited version of their thoughts:

Duguid:
Scotty Duguid has been an astute competitor in SPL fantasy football for a few years now. Here's what he had to say about this season's contest:
"I think the expansion of the league will make this year harder than Rory in the Ross County changing rooms. Hoping some of the unknown skills of the newbies will knock Brucey off his perch (and cause another shoulder injury)". An Aberdeen fan, he optimistically hopes for a top 4 finish for Derek Mcinnes' side, but has already warned off other teams eyeing up the Dons' more traditional 9th place.

Rory:
Another experienced fantasy football competitor who will be hoping for an improvement on last season's mid-table finish. Here are his erudite thoughts for the season ahead:
"I think Scott Duguid will win the league this year. With his erectile dysfunction (are we allowed to say erectile dysfunction?- Ed) problems it's been a while since he found anything hard. With big changes amongst several teams it will be hard to pick players. Hooper going makes it difficult to pick a Celtic top scorer. Motherwell and County have had massive overhauls- picking players from these teams will be difficult. Additionally, picking any player from Hearts' makeshift squad will be tough. However, I suggest you pick them over an Aberdeen player. With a new manager and exciting signings they have expectation thrust upon them once more and are therefore likely to finish near the bottom (please note Duguid cannot be blamed for thrusting this expectation on them as, due to his aforementioned erectile dysfunction issues (we're still running with these, then- Ed) he cannot get a boner and therefore cannot thrust)".

Brucey:
A broken collarbone has hindered Bruce's attempts at selection of his team (and wanking), but the reigning champion is expected to challenge for honours once again. His thoughts ahead of the new campaign:
"I'm hoping for another competitive season. Obviously me and Seaniekins are the big two (that's what she said!- Ed) but many others could challenge if they have the ambition, instead of battling for a bottom 6 place and crying about not getting prize money for it. I'm glad it's a clean, debt free league now that Bryan has paid his dues. All the best for the season, lads".

Pud:
Last season's runner-up, and a previous winner, will be confident of another strong challenge for the title this season. This is what he's got to say for himself:
"I am hoping to have another strong season, although that will be difficult with the number of new teams added to the league in the much needed expansion. I believe myself and Brucey the past winners have the know how to win this league and this might be the deciding factor again. Although with just under 24 hours to go I still can't pick a settled side so I'm not as confident of starting off well. I am glad to see Bryan Shepherd FC has come out of administration, with the help of his new sponsors, Wonga. All the best to all the teams this year and may you guys challenge well but ultimately fail to beat me".

Bryan:
Fucked if I know. Bryan will be doing well to avoid the wooden spoon. Across his arse. Actually, he might like that

Me:


Well, I'd better share my thoughts with y'all, then. I've not had the best of times in this league, but all that will (maybe) change this year. I'm expecting surprises in the SPFL this season, particularly from Partick Thistle. Expect to see high-scoring games involving a number of sides, mostly because some sides (I'm looking at you, Hibs & St Mirren) have defences that look utterly dreadful on paper, while some sides (particularly Dundee United) look irresistible going forward (no David Goodwillie jokes- Ed). All the best  to all involved, especially the new lads, who I'm sure will be a welcome addition to the league.

Honourable mentions, too, to G-Ham, Dave, and the new lads such as Burns & Jamie. Let's have a good season, chaps

BELIEVE IN THE SHIELD!