Graeme's Silly Bet, ken

JT gets pumped!

Just when I have nearly finalised my mental predictions for the England World Cup Squad (we'll do a feature on that sometime soon- Ed) that prick John Terry goes and bollocks it all up. He has possibly jeopardised his place in the squad by shafting his team-mate's ex-wife. She isn't even that fit, hilariously old, or a popstar. Idiot. (Graeme had posted a link, but it was from the Daily Mail website, and I didn't want readers' PCs getting infected with bigotry, royalty-bumming and out-of-touch viruses- Ed)

So get your money on Beckham to be restored as England captain for the World Cup.

On to the weekend's football

One general rule this weekend is not to touch Liverpool. I can't believe how predictably bad they continue to be. Failure to win this weekend will mean a confirmed end of season exit for Benitez and roflcoptering all over Manchester

Two value bets that I reckon could be worth a punt are Hamilton to beat Celtic @ 6/1 and Peterborough to beat Palace away @ 4/1, both William Hill. Celtic this season are statistically worse than when John Barnes was in charge and Palace have gone into off-field turmoil so who knows how their players will react on the pitch. Both teams will win nothing this season.

In the big Sunday match, Arsenal v Man United, put some cash on Sol Campbell being sent off for being far too old and slow (although Craig Brewster is 7 years older. I have no idea why I thought of Brewster when writing about Sol Campbell- I can't think of anything that connects them- Ed). But a 2-1 home win for Arsenal, with United being without guest Guardian editor Rio Ferdinand.

Finally, all readers look out for the massive First Division clash between Dundee and Ross County on Saturday, a game that Shifty will be attending. If the Staggies win, they will be 6 points off the top, 3 games in hand. SPL here we come. Also look out to see how much coverage the Sunday papers give to this match as they seem to have been ignoring the current 2nd-placed team so far