Sheep's Stag Do Betting Review

Well, what a weekend that was. And now that the bruises have healed, the superinjunctions have (for legal reasons, I cannot complete that sentence), the flirtatious texts to the Varsity big screen have been sent and Shifty's kart has been fixed, we can now look back at the betting tips for the weekend

First to be strip-searched at the airport
While there was no actual strip-searching taking place, Shifty's unfortunate decision to wear a pair of jeans with a busted top button left him, without his belt, in a horribly precarious situation going through security on Sunday
Winner: Shifty @ 7/4

Anyone to miss a flight
No- just. The Stag himself, Sheep, made the outbound flight with just moments to spare

To win the poker
As expected, G-Ham triumphed here, with Pud claiming 2nd prize and each-way honours. Sheep's lack of poker experience saw him end up with the wooden spoon
Winner: G-Ham @ 9/2
Runner-up: Pud @ 7/2

First to check in with the other half
Winner: Sheep @ 5/6

First to crack on to Hooters waitress
There was only going to be one winner here, and Duguid lived up to his billing as favourite, inquiring as to whether the attractive brunette serving us would like to join us in post-meal revellery. It is not clear if Duguid has ever NOT attempted to pull a waitress serving him
Winner: Duguid @ 5/4

When will the first Jagerbombs be had?
They were very nearly had on Saturday afternoon at the hotel bar, however the bar, clearly not stocked for 7 ravenous young souls, was not stocked with Jager, and so the Jagerbombs were delayed until the evening
Winner: Saturday evening @ 2/1

Any "unfortunate" incidents involving Sheep
Winner: Yes @ 11/10. Let's leave it at that, there were "unfortunate" incidents involving Sheep

First to be kicked out of the strip club
Astonishingly, no-one!

To spend most money in the strip club
Let's just say this was a keenly-fought contest

Anyone for a roast?
Unfortunately not. You can bet your house that, had there been one, Shifty would have been involved

To have the biggest Premier Inn breakfast
Sheep's mammoth effort on Saturday morning sees him claim this one. Honourable mention for Shifty's efforts on both Saturday and Sunday sees him claim each-way honours

Winner: Sheep @ 9/2
Runner-up: Shifty @ 6/4

To win the karting
A closely-fought contest between Sheep and Duguid was decided when Duguid, remembering that he should let the stag win, crashed. For such nobility, he has earned each-way honours. Shifty ended up with 3 wheels on his wagon, and retired due to chronic understeer

Winner: Sheep @ 5/2
Runner-up: Duguid @ 2/1

First to spew
To everyone's credit, there was no spewing action in Cardiff, Pud's late entry back in Aberdeen notwithstanding. This "award" is actually going to be shared on each-way terms of 1/2 for 1st and 2nd between Pud and G-Ham, for sporting the most impressive bruises after karting

Winners: G-Ham @ 6/1, Pud @ 4/1

So how did everyone do?
Let's see who managed to pick up a few wins, and who would have made any speculative, Brush-like punters a few bob. All 7 took part in 7 events, apart from Doug who did not kart. All returns are based on a 1 unit stake in each market

Sheep: 3 wins @ 5/6, 9/2 and 5/2
Total return 10.8333 units

Duguid: 2 wins @ 5/4 and 2/1
Total return 5.25 units

Shifty: 2 wins @ 7/4 and 6/4
Total return: 5.25 units

Pud: 2 wins @ 7/2 and 4/1
Total return: 9.5 units

G-Ham: 2 wins @ 9/2 and 6/1
Total return: 12.5 units