I'm still calling it UEFA CUP Thursday

Ahoy-ahoy, and welcome to my write-up of this week's UEFA Cup fixtures. Last night was something of a mixed bag in terms of results for UK teams; Fiorentina beating Liverpool 2-0 (wish I'd seen that coming; Fiorentina were 3/1 outright), Arsenal eventually triumphing over an Antonis Nikopolidis-inspired Olympiakos 2-0, and Rangers being given a lesson in counter-attacking football (David Weir was clearly affected by the loss of his wife, who threw herself infront of the King's horse in the Derby. We're very sorry for your loss, Davie. And move on)

Moving on then, expect some of the following to happen (again, odds to follow):

• Everton to beat BATE Borisov
• Dinamo Bucuresti to beat Panathinaikos
• FC Twente to beat Steaua Bucuresti
• Galatasaray to beat Sturm Graz
• AS Roma to beat CSKA Sofia
• Sporting CP to beat Hertha Berlin

Wonder if Davie would like a pen?

Real Madrid v Tenerife, Saturday 26th September

My Thoughts

Ola! A return here to the blog for La Liga for the first time this season, with what looks like a relatively straightforward home banker for Real Madrid. With 4 wins from 4 league games thus far, the early signs are promising for the second galactico revolution. Mind you, that much was to be expected, given that they've yet to play a top side (i.e. Barcelona) domestically. Newly-promoted Tenerife have managed to win both their home games so far, including a 1-0 victory in midweek over Athletic Bilbao, while suffering 4-0 and 1-0 defeats at Mallorca and Zaragoza respectively. Both sides have a Basque midfield schemer by the name of Alonso in the centre of the park- brothers Xabi and Mikel look set to line up against one another on Saturday.

The Verdict
It's very difficult to make a case for anything other than a convincing home win. Manuel Pellegrini may be tempted to rest players ahead of Champions League action in midweek, but he still has an outrageously strong squad of players to call upon. Tenerife's early away form doesn't exactly inspire. Home win

The Bet
Outright, Madrid are too short to back at a general 1/8. However, given that they have kept clean sheets in their last 3 league games, and Tenerife have scored just 3 times this season (none away), Madrid to win to nil is worth a look. Given their attacking prowess, it's also worth considering over 2.5 goals

Tottenham Hotspur v Burnley Prices

Tottenham Hotspur to win outright: best price 4/11 with Paddy Power
Jermain Defoe to score anytime: best price 6/5 Coral
Peter Crouch to score anytime: best price 13/10 Paddy Power

Tottenham Hotspur v Burnley, Saturday 26th September

Aleksandr the Meerkat

My Thoughts

Spurs are on something of a roll right now. Two defeats against top 4 sides notwithstanding, they have a 100% record this season, with their latest win coming in the Carling Cup, 5-1 away at Preston, a match in which a Peter Crouch hat-trick very nearly destroyed our very reality. Next to (OK, below) Crouch is Jermain Defoe, the Aleksandr the Meerkat to Crouch's BFG, who has been scoring goals for club and country this season as if it's going out of fashion.

Burnley, meanwhile, have fitted most of the "smaller club promoted to Premier League" stereotypes; hyperactive young manager, attacking football, great home record, backed by a fervent crowd, but dreadful away. 9 points from their opening 3 home games? Perfect. 0 points (and 0 goals) from their opening 3 away games? Room for improvement methinks, particularly after Tuesday's 3-2 Carling Cup defeat at Barnsleh.

The Verdict

Expect to see Harry Redknapp whingeing about his total lack of centre-backs for this game- injuries to Dawson, Woodgate, King (again) and Bassong mean that Vedran Corluka and Tom "Pudding" Huddlestone are likely to play together at centre-back. However, Burnely themselves have injury worries, with striker Martin Paterson likely to be out for some time, and keeper Brian "Tubs" Jensen doubtful. Given Spurs' general good form, and Burnley's lack of away form, expect a home win.

The Bet

Tottenham are likely to be too short to back outright with any real value (apologies, readers- this writer is currently at work and therefore unable to access gambling sites. Prices will follow), but Crouch and Defoe both surely must be considered as anytime scorers. Over 2.5 goals is also worth a look, after these two sides' epic ding-dongs in the Carling Cup last year

Graeme is surprisingly well organised

Here's Graeme's Silly Bet for the weekend:

Hi all,

Aberdeen are due a pumping. Cue Rangers

Penalty awarded and scored, 3/1 @ William Hill
Boyd to score more than 2 goals, 11/2 @ William Hill

In other action this coming week another hilariously inept punt could come in the form of Man City going off the boil big time in their Monday night clash against West Ham

As Shifty hinted last week, West Ham's improved strike force (Alessandro Diamanti was rumoured to be at the Chelsea training ground today, showing John Terry how to take a penalty- Ed) are capable of causing an upset against the (slightly) bigger guys. City are not a happy ship at the moment. Problems such as a lack of discipline, an extremely loose defence (I would love to include the Rhona Jappy-based line and Youtube link Graeme sent me in his original draft, but for legal reasons I must not- Ed) and the potential abscence of Tevez (who?Ed), David Bellamy, Santa Claus, Robinho and Adebayor could cause Mark Hughes to suffer an almighty case of mental fucknuggetry on the touchline, and hopefully follow his team's example and actually smack a ballboy.

In other words, West Ham might just fancy their chances

Away win for West Ham, 7/1 @ William Hill

(game being shown in Number 2 Baker Street, so see y'all there guys)

West Ham v Liverpool. Saturday 19th September

My Thoughts

West Ham head into this game off the back of a somewhat disappointing 1-0 loss away at WIgan last weekend, while Liverpool also had a somewhat underwhelming 1-0 scoreline in their most recent game, although they managed to emerge victorious from Wednesday's Champions (someone's going to need to remind me what exactly Liverpool are currently champions of) League encounter with Debrecen.

West Ham have added numbers in attack in recent weeks to complement Carlton Cole, with Alessandro Diamanti and Guillermo Franco both joining, although of the two new boys, only Diamanti is likely to be involved against Liverpool, who themselves are not exactly blessed with great strength in depth in attack. One quote following their midweek result which caught the eye went along the lines of "Torres looked tired last night. Benitez should rest him for the next game and play....Oh".

The Verdict
Historically, Upton Park has been a reasonably happy hunting ground for Liverpool, with 4 of the last 5 games at Upton Park resulting in away wins. A fatigued Torres will still probably pose West Ham's back line all kinds of problems, and with Kuyt and Benayoun also featuring on the scoresheet in recent games, expect an away win.

The Bet
Liverpool are available at a general 4/7. Also, given their recent goalscoring form, as long as Benitez doesn't rotate either of them for the generally inferior Ryan Babel or Albert Riera, Kuyt and Benayoun should be considered on the anytime scorers market- Kuyt is available at 21/10 with extrabet, and Benayoun at 13/5 with bet365

Here's that new feature I was on about

Shifty's Last Word is delighted to confirm the arrival to the blog of our new columnist, Graeme. Representatives from The Ross-Shire Journal, The Turriff Advertiser and la Gazzetta Della Sport gathered at a press conference this morning, where it was confirmed that Graeme will write a weekly column entitled "Graeme's Silly Bet".

Graeme

Here's Graeme's musings for this weekend:

Thought I'd let my first post be Scotland-orientated;

1) The Old Firm notoriously struggle to perform after their midweek European excursions so this weekend, after Celtic's shambolic 2nd half display in Tel Aviv in which they seemed to wilt in the heat in Israel, the last thing Mowbray's men want to face is a resurgent Hearts side well pumped after their first victory in the league against Kilmarnock last Tuesday.

Silly prediction: Celtic to slip up again with a half-time/full-time bet of a Celtic/draw. 23/1 at Betfair

2) Coupon of the week:

I'm getting into the Scottish lower tiers this year and after seeing Stirling Albion last weekend myself, and the man who burnt £40 infront of the beggars, I can safely say that the Albion boys are awesome going forward on the pitch despite their deep financial problems off it.

That said, Alloa were equally strong and well organised at the back with impressive young goalkeeper David Crawford leading the way.

I also dislike Caley and Airdrie with equal venom so want to see them drawing, leading to relegation for these disgusting shams of teams and managers.

Silly treble of:

Alloa to beat Stenhousemuir @ 11/10

Airdrie to snatch a point with Caley @12/5

Stirling Albion to beat East Fife @ 4/6

If placed at WIlliam Hill £1 gets you £11.90

Cheers and see you next week

xxxxxxxxxxxx

It's Thursday. But it's not just any old Thursday....

...It's UEFA Cup Thursday! (This writer will still be calling it thus. I'm not falling for any UEFA rebranding exercise). Given that this is the first round of matches in this season's main competition, I felt that it was time to share my views on this week's matches, as well as my tips for the outright winners.

In tonight's matches, have a think about backing the following:

• Ajax to beat Timisoara (best price 1/3 with Ladbrokes)
• AS Roma to beat Basel (best price 11/13 with expekt.com)
• Hertha Berlin to beat Ventspils (best price 2/7 with Blue Square)
• Valencia to beat Lille (best price 13/10 with expekt.com). This writer will be having some of this bet
• Athletic Bilbao to beat Austria Wien (best price 4/9 with Betfred)
• Everton to beat AEK Athens (best price 4/7 with Skybet)
• Werder Bremen to beat Nacional (best price 5/6 with Ladbrokes)
• Lazio and Red Bull Salzburg to draw (best price 16/5 with bet365. This writer thought Lazio were utter garbage on Saturday against Juventus)
• Partizan Belgrade to beat Toulouse (best price 21/10 with Stan James)
• PSV Eindhoven to beat Sparta Prague (best price 6/4 with totesport)
• Steaua Bucharest to beat FC Sheriff Tiraspol (best price 4/9 with Blue Square)

There ye go, folks. Previews for the weekend games, along with a possible new feature, to follow. Enjoy

Stoke v Chelsea, Saturday 12th September

My Thoughts

Stoke have made a solid, if unspectacular start to this season, a start which has in many ways been a microcosm of their performance last season. Their defensive record, particularly at home, was the bedrock of their survival last season, and clean sheets in each of their last 3 matches bodes well. In terms of style of play (or rather lack of it), Stoke's opponents, Chelsea, are actually more similar than many people would have you believe- both are well-organised, difficult to break down, and tend not to play with much width across the midfield. Chelsea, with a fixture schedule that has been generous compared to that of some of their rivals, have started well under Carlo Ancelotti, with a maximum of 12 points from their opening 4 games.

The Verdict
One's first thoughts on seeing this game on the fixture list this weekend will most likely be "away win". And with good reason- Chelsea claimed a comfortable 2-0 victory at the Britannia last season. Stoke can point to claiming 4 points at the Britannia against the top 4 clubs last season, and have looked reasonably sound defensively so far this campaign, and could even cling to the hope that Ancelotti may be tempted to rest players after an international week with Porto to play on Tuesday, but this should be a fairly routine away win for Chelsea.

The Bet
At 2/5, Chelsea to win outright represents little value as a single. Therefore, under 2.5 goals is well worth a look- in 19 Stoke home league games last season, this bet would have come in 14 times, as well as in 4 of their 5 games so far this season