When Your Car Needs a New Engine, Don't Buy Alloy Wheels Instead

This morning's paper talk of Manchester United being interested in signing Robin van Persie was rather surprising to this writer for a number of reasons. An even bigger surprise came this evening when Sir Alex Ferguson confirmed on MUTV that a bid had indeed been made. Here's a few reasons why, to me, this potential deal makes no sense and will not happen:

• Rooney, Welbeck, Hernandez, Berbatov, Macheda. Even assuming the likely departure of 1 of the last 2 of those names, United have a strikeforce as strong as any in Europe. Also factor in the likes of Kagawa, Young, Powell and Giggs who could all operate in the 10 position (plus talented youngsters like Will Keane & Josh King), and you have to come to the conclusion that United simply don't need another centre-forward. If van Persie is to be believed when he says his main motivation is to win trophies, then one could argue that Juventus, another of the teams in the running for his signature, give him at least as good, if not better, a chance of winning the Champions League in the near future
• There are, however, other areas of United's squad that need reinforcing. The central midfield issue needs no explaining (as earlier mentioned, Kagawa is more likely to be used as a 10, rather than as part of a Doppelsechs setup), while there is no senior cover for Patrice Evra at left-back- rookies Robbie Brady (a jinking left-winger by trade) and Tyler Blackett will be deployed there during pre-season, and possibly during the season should Evra be unavailable. A move for Everton's Leighton Baines seems to be on the back-burner for now- it's likely to stay there, and definitely will if the van Persie deal goes through
• As alluded to at the end of the last point, there is the issue of finances. The bid lodged by United announced today was rumoured to be in the region of £15 million, which Arsenal rejected, holding out as they are for £25million-£30 million. The signing of van Persie would also go against United's stringent transfer policy of signing young players with high sell-on value at relatively low wages. At 28 and injury prone, van Persie is the very antithesis of this policy
• More on the financial side now. United recently launched an IPO on the New Your Stock Exchange in an attempt to raise capital and also to relieve the club of some of the indebtedness it has taken on with the ownership of the Glazers, a tacit admission that the sheer size of the debt (well into the hundreds of millions) is now holding the club back. To put it simply, if United could meet Arsenal's asking price at the drop of a hat (the way, say, citeh, Paris Saint-Germain or Chelsea could), then they surely would. In the context of this IPO, we also have to consider a financial industry concept known as "signalling". This is where an institution, wishing to drum up positive investor interest (or downplay negative stories) in itself publicly releases positive information about itself that it would normally have kept confidential that may be exaggerated or not entirely truthful. To sum that point up, FERGIE'S LYING!!!

RVP to MUFC ain't going to happen, people